The tale of the missing testis
Once upon a time, there was this young, well-built, well-spoken handsome gentleman who was in every girl’s dream. He has a humble beginning, a son of a peasant, friendly and very accommodating- always be there if you need him. His name was Bosuk. He was almost everybody’s favourite – yes, in this unprivileged, isolated yet serene village – the village of the Dusun tribes.
One evening, he was on his way home, after an entertaining session in a village gathering. Half drunk, tired but very contented, he guided himself home through a thick undergrowth of thorny bushes. Suddenly he felt a slight pain in his stomach, “Oh Dear! I am having this pain again. This must be the fish pickle”, he thought. “I need to find a toilet quickly”!
There was no village public toilet in the vicinity however. He must find somewhere to throw it out if he is going ease the pain in his stomach. At last he found himself in a padee field. Fortunately, it was not the planting season yet and he can almost move freely in the field though the water is quite cold. He hastily removed his pants and underwear, squatted on the field divider and began easing himself – the whole of his butt and testes were in the water. Then there was this ‘toilet-familiar sound’ – “Preeettt-peeettt!” The water was almost filled with the nasty faeces – dark yellowish in colour. The Catfish in the water were scrambling to get to the first dropping – you can still hear the skirmishes. One of the catfish however was not interested at the dropping at all. It has its sight on one of Bosuk’s testis – the size of a ping-pong ball, greatly decreased in size due to the cold water. The catfish suddenly strike, ripping through the soft skin, taking away the round fleshy testis, and leaving a trail of blood.
Bosuk was in a great pain! Jumping from one field divider to the other hoping for somebody to hear his agony. Holding his empty testis, he cried for help! “Helppppppppppp! Those stupid catfish took my ball!”
Lucky for him, a Good Samaritan was just nearby – his name was Gombui. He was just at the other end of the field, fishing for catfish. At Bosuk’s scream for help, he was already in the scene and quickly took Bosuk to the nearest hospital.
The doctor in charge was Dr. Gantamol. He performed an emergency operation on Bosuk’s right testis. He has no choice but to insert a piece of rounded hard wood inside Bosuk’s empty testis to keep the screaming man walk in balance after leaving the hospital.
A week after the operation, Bosuk was able to walk in perfect poise. The next day though, he felt a slight itch inside his ruined testis. The itching did not stop the next day; in fact it became even worse. He decided to see Dr. Gantamol once more.
“What can I do for you Mr. Bosuk?” asked the doctor. “Doc, help me, my ball is itching badly and I cannot stand it any more. I have to scratch it everywhere I go and those girls thought that I am trying to show off my penis, so please help me.“Let me have a look”, said the doctor.
In the operation theatre, the Dr. found the culprit! It was the decaying rounded hard wood that is causing the irritation. He quickly cleaned the wound and inserted a half-kilogram of solid rock inside Bosuk’s right testis, sewed it up and had him sent home by an ambulance.
A week later, the pain and itching stopped. Feeling a brand new man, Bosuk tried to walk. On his first step though, he fell to the ground! His right testis was just too heavy! Again he found himself in Dr. Gantamol’s operation theatre.
“You are still having problem with your ball, do you?” asked Dr. Gantamol. “Whatever you have inserted in my ball is just too heavy? I can hardly walk!”, stressed Bosuk.
The doctor found out that the 1/2-kilo rock was indeed too heavy to be supported by Bosuk’s right testis. Then, lucky for Bosuk, a large German Shepherd dog has just died from a hit and run accident. The doctor decided to remove the dog’s right testis and place it into Bosuk’s own empty testis. It was an agonising 3-hour operation and making sure that every vital vein is well attached.
The tale of the missing testis
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